The Demon Barber of Bedminster.

In my bath steaming
I lie here dreaming
Of Charlie Stephens
Of Bedminster.
That noble showman
Would yield to no man
When it came to stunts
That would raise your hair.

To amuse the neighbours
Dragoons with sabres
Sliced Cox’s pippins
Off Charlie’s head
While men with Lugers
Shot off lumps of
Sugar
While the people cheered
In delight
And dread.

From a balloon
Red-coated
You parachuted
And landed booted
Upon your feet
To amaze the nation
With admiration
In Bedminster Station
(Bessel Street).

 

Then, Charlie Stephens,
You had to leave us
All for the shores of
Americal.
In stripey barrel
You shot the waters
Of the famous falls of
Niagaral.

But luck had left you
The waters kept you
Then tossed you up
In an angry wave.
The barrel shattered
Your limbs were scattered
It was your last
And your closest shave.

 

 

 

 

So farwell, Charlie Stephens!